MATURE? ME?

Journal No. 3

"Sometimes LIFE makes you GROW UP EARLY"

"Just last year you look like a girl, now you really did matured and became a woman."

Those are the lines my student told me last Friday. I was really shocked to hear it from him. Many questions did pop in my head like: Am I not matured enough? Am I really matured now? In the end I didn't have the answer to these questions, instead more questions keep on popping.

Four years ago, my father got stroke I was a third year college at that time. Being the eldest child change my views in life. I was FORCE to be matured, that was I thought. I have to stop being childish and act as a woman if my father's situation would end him up jobless. I have to finish college, find a job ASAP and support my family. For four years I've been doing that I thought I've grown up but I think I didn't. 

Last Friday, It came rushing in my mind that for the past four years I didn't truly matured instead I was just FORCE to. My student enlighten me for what am I a year ago that he knew me and now. And I was like REALLY? Maybe in the looks I did matured, by the way I held into responsibilities and maybe how deal with relationships. But is it really possible to change just in the span of one year? Could I really change to a better me in that short period of time? 

Maybe, just maybe I'm still too young for what the world has to offer. I still have a lot of rice to eat as they say, a lot to learn and a lot to experience. Maybe I could find the answers to my questions as I'm battling this war I'm with. As I grow up and as every year my age increasing maybe I could find myself NOT force to be matured but just naturally came out from me.