The Bird in the Cage

"Her life, she realized, had all the charms of a steel trap."

Have you ever felt so pressure with things?

Felt so trap like a bird in the cage?

Felt like a damn marionette controlled by life marionettist?

Felt like you carry life's burden on your shoulders?

I've been having this feeling for almost 5 years. Five years of pressure, heavy responsibility, a bird trap on her own cage. I'm not complaining a lot but sometimes when I have too much on my plate and their demand arises more than what I can offer, I can't help but crack up and bust out. They may see me smiling and laughing, thinking everything is fine with me but I'm not! Totally NOT! Sometimes when I want to be free from all of these; they question my sense of responsibility and the likes. I can't buy books because its a waste of money, can't go out with my friends because its a waste of time and money! Everything is a waste for them but what about ME? I've wasted my teenager life because I choose to be the great, responsible eldest they want me to be. I just want to blow off some steam, have fun and stop being a worrisome person at the early age of 21 but don't allow me to do so. Every time I try to escape on my cage,  I just find myself flying back in and all caged up. All these years I've been holding up this burden inside me. Been locked up all by myself. Been faking and masking the pain I felt.

My dear parents, people and life itself; please be gentle. Let me breathe. Let me grow and go. Let me fly high and reach my dreams. I still have many things I want to prove and achieve. I don't to end my life hanging. I don't want to end things like this. I don't want to be a bird trap on her cage forever!